Peer Pressure

When I was a youngster, the terminology ‘peer pressure,’ was the newest child rearing catch phrase and was being bandied about by parents and teachers alike as if it were some newly discovered childhood malaise plaguing my age bracket.

“Such and such is suffering from peer pressure…”

“Ah hear she was influenced by peer pressure..”

“The pressure was too great for him to resist…”

Whispered in hushed tones in teacher’s lounges and tossed over fences between gossiping moms like a verbal hand grenade, at first I did not know what it meant but whatever it was it was bad and I did not want to catch it! Truly, PP loomed large over all of us and it really seemed as if the most advisable course of action was to avoid it altogether.

So my story continues and a couple of days ago, I rush into the neighborhood market to get one item and there, is an open container of unhusked corn on the cob at a bargain price awaiting selection, parceling and transportation to the pot of choice. But what’s this? Everyone is husking their corn on the spot and tossing the remaining trash into a provided bin. I don’t have enough time to husk I’m just running in and out to get one item. What will I do? Will they think I’m lazy for not husking? How will I throw four corns in a bag and just go? What will they think of me? Cho!! I don’t even know them, I don’t care! Then I realize that with this single act I could redeem my entire age group!!

I steel my nerves and inch towards the container to make my selection all the time building up my resolve to not bow to the beast PP, rearing its ugly head. I make my selection and proceed to bag the corn without picking them. All around me faces drop and eyebrows rise!! Folks glare disbelievingly at me and the four unpicked corns in my plastic bag. Did I see those two women snicker condescendingly to themselves?

“Well, if you leave them in the flesh they’re easier to microwave,” I hear myself mumbling to no particular person, attempting to justify my husking indiscretion as I shuffle away from the scene of the crime while fixating my shame-faced gaze on the ground. I quickly retreat to the checkout stand, leaving PP behind, feeling stronger still for sticking to my resolve. As I reemerge into the sunlight of the store parking lot I realize that I just stared down peer pressure and won. I did not husk my corn, scoring not just for me but for my whole generation… whoppee!!! Somewhere across the ocean, the unified parential unit of Jamaica, breathe a sigh of relief.

Random Acts of Kindness

You know when you spontaneously show a child or anyone for that matter, love through a kind gesture, they never forget it. Case in point, the balloon lady in the neighborhood grocery store; now don’t think the supermarket actually has a balloon lady. To the contrary, the balloon lady is just a regular employee of the store that saw my children ogling the balloons she was filling with helium one day and gave them one each. I guess she must have noticed the squeals of delight, the transfixed gazes and the salivating mouths and decided to be nice but little did she know that such a simple gesture on her part translated into a magnanimous act of wonderment in the eyes of two little ones.
They have never forgotten her and whenever we go shopping the first thing they do is to look out for the balloon lady to give her a smile.

Then there is Miss M, our favorite crossing guard. She is never without a smile or a hug or a lollipop for the girls whenever we pass by. I cannot help but believe that these people of the community, in their small ways are teaching my children an important lesson regarding the glee to be derived from unplanned, no strings attached benevolence.

Remembering that, I was not surprised when on a recent visit to the Jamaican store, I witnessed the girls putting what they had observed into action. Before they went, they each were given a coin as a good behavior reward to spend as they liked. But after they deposited their coins in the gumball machine, they noticed that another child was pleading with his parent for a coin to partake in the bliss the girls were enjoying but to no avail. They then came to me and asked for another coin to give their friend candy too. This presented me with a bit of a challenge, suppose the parent did not want the child to have candy, what message would I be sending to them if I unmercilessly squashed their initiative seemedly without a second thought?

I decided to let the act take its course reasoning that whatever the outcome, the girls would learn some invaluable lesson about human nature, regardless of the turn of events. Thankfully, the other child was allowed to accept their generosity and they went skipping out of the store filled with self-pride and glowing in self worth....whew! Next lesson :- how to harness the power in wind turbines as efficient providers of electricity…LOL!

Weighing in on the Jamaican Citizenship Issue.

The hot debate in Jamaica, for those who are not aware is whether a public official should be required to be a Jamaican citizen. I almost feel as if I should be saying, Duhhh! In the US the American President has got to be an American born citizen. I cannot help but recall that recently, Presidential hopeful John McCain’s citizenship and therefore eligibility was questioned because he was born on an army base outside of continental USA. This leads me to reason that although it is true that affairs in miniscule Jamaica could hardly be fairly compared to those of the vast US, they do serve as some sort of precedence pointing out how such issues may be handled.

Further to that fact, one would imagine that persons who seek to fill public office given their presupposed wish to serve the public well-being should not balk at the requirement to be a citizen; I mean to say how do you propose to lead me if you cannot commit to pledging allegiance to the state that governs me? How are you going to uphold the law in my country when you have an escape route reserved for yourself if things go south through your citizenship in another country? Could I go to the country of your citizenship and hope to become a public servant there if I was not a citizen? I think not – a foreigner as gleaned through my own experience cannot vote in local elections in this country until they become a citizen and rightfully so because with citizenship an individual declares his or her vested interest in upholding the state’s wellbeing.

I’ll never forget that my American born cousin years ago tried to enter and win the Miss Jamaica contest. She did not win and was told by one of the judges at a later date that although she was a pretty girl, she could not hope to represent Jamaica as she was not born in Jamaica – And that was just a beauty contest. True, we (all her family members) did react in horror at that statement because we her saw her as a Jamaican more than anything else but I think if a poll was taken of our hearts we would probably privately admit that we agreed with that judge. My niece was a beautiful girl who loved Jamaica dearly but we all knew that she had no chance at winning that contest as a born American, so most of us would have advocated that she enter the Miss USA contest, do her best and wear her heritage as a proud part of her essence on whatever stage she commanded.

I love my Jamaica. But if I ever decide to run for public office in Jamaica, I could not really hope to sit the fence on such an issue. I firmly believe that one must have the strength of one’s convictions. If you run for public office you must be a citizen of that country. Come on people, man up!!

The Cool Mom

Before I became a mom I always had visions of being the cool mom. You know, the one whose house everyone went to; the one who was hip to all the gossip of her children’s clique and knew all the right dance moves and better than that, could do them! We all knew her and probably visited her house once or twice when we were younger and marveled at her rapport with her offspring albeit a little enviously. I thought I had a good start too; after all I was the cool aunt; I was younger than all the other aunties and drove the cool car and was not caught up in all the isms and scisms that moms had exuding from their pores. Fast forward more than a decade and can you believe it? I am one of those moms who exude authority stuff and have rules and regulate order. Many years spent as the cool aunt made me has made me an older more protective mother which is enough grounds for total annihilation of any cool mom points I could ever hope to gain.

Further confirmation of the nullification of any possibility my cool mom status even existing was handed to me by my four year old recently. Notice I said four year old right, yes I said four year old and believe me she did let me know that I wasn’t cool. Shucks I don’t even know if they still say cool, oops am I dating myself again?

You see, cool moms know what is cool without having to be told that same is cool! Exasperated children should not have to sigh in thinly veiled disgust at an uncool mom’s faux pas. You should know not to wear mom jeans and notice that the shoes that you dragged on to make a quick run to the supermarket for that missing ingredient to make dinner just right - did not match your blouse; elegant coif is required and most of all DO NOT AND I SAY DO NOT GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER A TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA – BOY- UMBRELLA THAT HER COUSIN LEFT AT YOUR HOUSE TO PUT OVER HER HEAD IN THE RAIN BECAUSE IT DOESN’T MATCH HER HELLO KITTY RAINCOAT!!!

This was the lesson I learnt recently after committing that most grievous of all sins. I was told in no uncertain terms that she could not carry a boy umbrella because “…that would be embarrassing.” Pardon my colloquialism, “But see ya?” In my day I was just glad to have something over my head in rainy weather. Jamaicans are notorious for having newspapers over their heads in rain – ridiculous I know, but go figure – so when the only umbrella in the house with minimal wear and tear on it just happened to have a green amphibian on the handle I never gave it another thought. I wonder if I could ever recover from this blunder and drag my abysmal cool rating up in time before teenage comes around and all hopes for redemption are lost until everyone reaches twenty one? Hmmm are there any bonus points to be gained by trying to keep their wardrobes fashionable? Do I even know what equals fashionable is to the virtual reality generation? Eeek!! Only time will tell. But if keeping them safe, protected in a loving environment and striving to be descent individuals means saying goodbye to my coolness, them see ya. We’ll reconnect when the mist clears and they realize, oh she was always there, now that’s cool!!!

This is dedicated to all the moms out there who aren't trying to be cool cause we all dun know seh a you run tings - tings no run you!! Happy Mothers Day!!

Throwing Kisses

Up North we are so conscious of the weather and its many changes that every variance is marked – and depending on its favorability – celebrated. Our obsessesion , I have just come to realize sometimes gets passed to our offspring unknowingly. How this happens exactly is an enigma but I am sure it has something to do with the fact that the little ones see their parents daily watching the forecasts so as to plan for the necessary toting of weather related gear anon.

Bearing all of these facts in mind, I should not have been surprised when after sitting in the backyard on a recent balmy spring afternoon my eldest looked up and said,

“Mom God just kissed me!”

I replied,

“What Honey, how do you know?”

“Through the breeze Mummy, it’s warm and came up quick like God is throwing kisses!”

Then she made a kissing motion and blew one towards me that landed directly on my cheek.

That was the best use of weather related knowledge that I had observed; for once the elements were not the enemy being planned for or rejoicingly outwitted but a loving friend throwing kisses. Perfect!!