On Friday gone it snowed. I have no love for that white smushy stuff and coming from a tropical clime I know, makes me even more unappreciative of same. However, I have become aware that snowy weather brings with it a certain type of etiquette or snetiquette (as I love to call it) that governs behavior when the white stuff hits the road, somewhat akin to when the defecation collides with the oscillation – or thereabouts. So for all you who have never personally seen this stuff in all its natural wonder you’re not really missing anything, the amazing white out gets real old, real fast and then you got to clean it up, good luck! But if I have not dissuaded your amazement, here are a few things you aught to know….
1. Snow goes hand in hand with cold extreme cold. Surprise, surprise. I bet you had not thought of that! You can only enjoy so much of the stuff before you’re freezing cold and have to rush inside for Milo and toast bread. Be wary.
2. Dress effectively. Jeans and a T Shirt will not do when fighting the elements only layers will. My recommendation – thermal underwear, several shirts, sweaters, heavy corduroys, ear muffs (those things that resemble headphones outfitted by the M&M crew), hat, heavy coat, at least two pairs of socks, boots – generally the rule of thumb is - if you are “bundled up” until you feel you are squeezing out your windpipe or if you accidentally fall you will roll then you’re fine.
3. Be observant. When the school district starts to test their emergency call around system; or when there is a rush on items such as bottled water, tinned foods, and bread and the extremely crowded supermarket starts selling shovels; or when suddenly you’re noticing infinitely more trucks driving around with snow plough mechanisms attached, chances are something snowy your way cometh.
4. Your neighbor’s snow blower is not necessarily your own. Really, when you think of it why should they help you out, when they spent money on a machine that is only used sometimes four times (if that many) in a possible six month period and you just want to depend on their generosity to save you from having to hoist your shovel and move bushels of fluff the hard way? But when they do, you are required to pay the good deed forward and help out another neighbor who did not get the relief you did – not really a requirement just good karma!
5. The snow plough is not your friend. Guaranteed, when you clear your car or driveway of the stuff, the evil snow plough guy is going to come and mess it up again leaving a high pitched “heh heh heh” in his wake. Take a deep breath shake it off and get to work again, no use crying the stuff is still falling and needs to be cleared.
6. Snowbound is not the same as snowed in!! If you are snowed in the situation is drastic retreat to a shelter – this is not a test.
Rules may vary. Void where prohibited. Rules do not apply in Florida or most of California. If symptoms continue see a travel agent, take a trip to Jamaica and wait it out.
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