The Cool Mom

Before I became a mom I always had visions of being the cool mom. You know, the one whose house everyone went to; the one who was hip to all the gossip of her children’s clique and knew all the right dance moves and better than that, could do them! We all knew her and probably visited her house once or twice when we were younger and marveled at her rapport with her offspring albeit a little enviously. I thought I had a good start too; after all I was the cool aunt; I was younger than all the other aunties and drove the cool car and was not caught up in all the isms and scisms that moms had exuding from their pores. Fast forward more than a decade and can you believe it? I am one of those moms who exude authority stuff and have rules and regulate order. Many years spent as the cool aunt made me has made me an older more protective mother which is enough grounds for total annihilation of any cool mom points I could ever hope to gain.

Further confirmation of the nullification of any possibility my cool mom status even existing was handed to me by my four year old recently. Notice I said four year old right, yes I said four year old and believe me she did let me know that I wasn’t cool. Shucks I don’t even know if they still say cool, oops am I dating myself again?

You see, cool moms know what is cool without having to be told that same is cool! Exasperated children should not have to sigh in thinly veiled disgust at an uncool mom’s faux pas. You should know not to wear mom jeans and notice that the shoes that you dragged on to make a quick run to the supermarket for that missing ingredient to make dinner just right - did not match your blouse; elegant coif is required and most of all DO NOT AND I SAY DO NOT GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER A TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA – BOY- UMBRELLA THAT HER COUSIN LEFT AT YOUR HOUSE TO PUT OVER HER HEAD IN THE RAIN BECAUSE IT DOESN’T MATCH HER HELLO KITTY RAINCOAT!!!

This was the lesson I learnt recently after committing that most grievous of all sins. I was told in no uncertain terms that she could not carry a boy umbrella because “…that would be embarrassing.” Pardon my colloquialism, “But see ya?” In my day I was just glad to have something over my head in rainy weather. Jamaicans are notorious for having newspapers over their heads in rain – ridiculous I know, but go figure – so when the only umbrella in the house with minimal wear and tear on it just happened to have a green amphibian on the handle I never gave it another thought. I wonder if I could ever recover from this blunder and drag my abysmal cool rating up in time before teenage comes around and all hopes for redemption are lost until everyone reaches twenty one? Hmmm are there any bonus points to be gained by trying to keep their wardrobes fashionable? Do I even know what equals fashionable is to the virtual reality generation? Eeek!! Only time will tell. But if keeping them safe, protected in a loving environment and striving to be descent individuals means saying goodbye to my coolness, them see ya. We’ll reconnect when the mist clears and they realize, oh she was always there, now that’s cool!!!

This is dedicated to all the moms out there who aren't trying to be cool cause we all dun know seh a you run tings - tings no run you!! Happy Mothers Day!!