Cow Itch

Thinking back to garden based dangers one could run afoul of in Jamaica, all I could recall was Cow Itch. It is a small golden orange, fuzzy looking pod that grew in the wilds of the hillsides of my childhood and when the breeze blew off the hillside the pollen from that pod would be lobbed per the gusts onto innocent bystanders afflicting them with an incomparable itch only to be soothed by a good bath. Cow Itch was not something that was found in domestic gardens so it is possible that maybe some of my friends who lived on the flats could not even identify with its trouble. My more knowledgeable cohort on things rural Jamaica, speaks of getting soaked by rain while carrying Yam aloft the head to or from market, as being another fantastic itch provider…could be, but believe me folks all that is child’s play when compared to a rogue bush found throughout most of the North America called Poison Ivy.

You see its gardening season here in the north east and after being cooped up in the house for six months watching the land transitioning from barren dryness of winter to the moist blossoming greenery of spring, most are inspired to get outside and become one with the soil. Yup and that’s where my tail of woe begins. Two weeks ago I decided with my newly stimulated seasonal earthiness to trim an eyesore of a bush that was growing approximately four feet from my house. In retrospect I wonder what made me even think of that? I got out there and really went to town decapitating that vermin shrub…or so I thought. I used my hedge trimmers and snipped and shaped and when that proved too short to reach the inner branches of the hedge I got my husband’s power saw with length extension and happily hacked away thus, everything was good, right? WRONG!!

While I was trimming the bush let out a peculiar green odor which I thought was akin to anything one would smell in the Jamaican thickets and never gave it another consideration. Shucks, Cow Itch smelled like this didn’t it? Well two days later I got a wake up call that essentially said, “you’re not in Kansas (or Jamaica) anymore Dorothy (a little Wizard of Oz humor).” I woke up with my arms and legs afire from an itch that nothing could soothe…I had run amok in Poison Ivy!!

My walking partner, rural Jamaica officiando and bush doctor quickly assessed my symptoms and diagnosed that I needed to seek the help of someone with an MD because it would get worse and I would need medication. What was he saying? I had been to Jamaican bush and lived to talk about it! He had to be joking! I laughed it off and continued about my merry business. By the following day I was at the doctor’s office red and swollen itching like none other and begging for relief. In a moment of clarity, I began to figure out how much trouble I was in when the doctor just looked at me and did not touch my arms. Not only was I itching, I was contagious. How would I take care of my family, household and self?

Well, I have never taken so many baths in a 96 hour period!! I can now say without hesitation as a result, that I am an authority on Poison Ivy, Poison Oak and its cousin Sumac (which is what I got into.) I researched the matter thoroughly on the net, I poured over every website, posting and blog regarding same. The only thing that soothed me over the sleepless nights which followed was knowing what I was up against.

Today even as I resurface on the other side of the affliction itching getting less intense as the days pass, I am scarred but greatful that I did not infect my household even though I reinfected myself by wearing my shoes again without putting them in detoxification isolation!! I have learned that like Texas; everything is bigger and better in the US even their toxins additionally, Cow Itch in no way compares; wearing long sleeves and layers while gardening is imperative for you know not from whence the itch cometh; no home should be without Calamine Lotion, Dettol soap and Benedryl finally; watching Oprah reruns of the 4:00pm episode at 2:00am on channel six is a good way to pass time while itching in the early morning hours . Selah!!