Tempering Grief

On another forum I have a pictorial commemorating the life of someone very dear to my heart. I was about to attach another photo when I was stuck. It occurred to me that this was too personal a detail to share with just anyone who happens upon it. I had to temper my grief to make appropriate decisions concerning my loved one. But when is it okay to just grieve and when do you have to stop in your tracks, pull yourself up by your crumpled psyche and make choices?

I have seen that the minute you suffer loss you begin to make decisions on how to conduct yourself. Another person that I love, who was even closer to the loss was so dignified in her conduct that she inspired the whole tone of our family's response to what was possibly the most trying time of our lives. Because everyone took their cues from her, the gathering of family and friends that came from near and far to mark this passing were really not grieving, we were celebrating!

We were celebrating a remarkable life that even though on this earth for what seems to be a blink in time, was so accomplished and had lived every minute to its fullest that all that was left for us to do was to rejoice. In this we had a responsibility to smile between the tears and laugh louder than the sound of our hearts breaking because this would be what our twinkling, dancing daughter, a beautiful spirit would have wanted.

Thus, what I have come to is that the commemoration of grief is an individual thing in which there is no right or wrong. One person's weeping and moaning and gnashing of teeth is another person's single silent tear or a combination of both these two poles running the gamut of emotions defining what it is to mourn a loss so devastating, is also cool. For everything there is a season, a time to weep and a time to turn away from weeping, tempering grief is best left to the individual. If you feel like bawling go right ahead!!


TWR you're awesome.