Better Before You're Married

As a child I can recall that whenever I would get a cut or bruise I would run to my father. He would commiserate with me, register his displeasure with the object that caused my pain, clean and dress my wound and impart this single gem of wisdom, “Better before you’re married!” This would ignite a passionate denial on my part, usually qualified by a statement such as “boys are yucky,” or “I don’t even like any boys,” or dependant on my psyche on that given day I may even have blushed and hid my face. Whatever my reaction, the little adage served its purpose, by the time I left my father’s arms I would have stopped focusing on the hurt, replaced tears with smiles and would be ready also prepared to return to my days’ activities renewed, to play as robustly as I had done prior to infraction occurring.

It was only as I became an incredulous adult that the possibility of my Daddy’s healing words being slightly ambiguous crept into my mind. My sister and I would debate whether such rhetoric had implicit meaning or should be taken at face value. Anyway, now when my girls get boo-boos as they call them, I commiserate with them, register my displeasure with the object that caused their pain, clean and dress their wounds and I too impart that single gem of wisdom, “Better before you’re married!”

Their reaction is pretty much the same as mine was eons ago but as the children’s ages progress I have noticed that their reactions change, the toddler laughs and enjoys the thought, the maturing child is dismayed at the mere utterance, the tween is disgusted at the inference and wonders whether intrusion is intended and the young adult dreams of who that mate will be. I have even been in my sister’s household on occasion and have heard her girls lamenting the suggestion of marriage too but the little maxim is no less effective; for soon the children are back to “horse romping” and the household is once more in equilibrium...regardless of reaction the cycle remains unbroken. Perhaps our children will pass this gem on to their offspring as well.