Easter Egg Hunt Gone Wild

My eldest came home with a flyer on Thursday that proclaimed that the local mall would be hosting an Easter Egg Hunt for all the neighborhood children. The flyer further insisted that although the hunt itself would not start until 10:00 am, parents should come early as previously there was a long line to join the festivities. After much coaxing and cajoling I agreed that I would take the girls to partake in this spectacle. Now I must admit to being a bit of a scrooge where the Easter bunny is concerned, my initial response to that creature is to say bah humbug even though in spring, that saying is somewhat out of season. I know what’s going on, I am a keen observer of supermarket self stacking practices, when Christmas is done they move in Valentines Day stuff, after Valentines Day is done, clerks stack Easter commodities on the shelves closely followed by Mother’s Day goods, Fathers Day paraphernalia and fourth of July decorations after that everything is stocked up for Post Thanksgiving madness aptly given the ominous title of Black Friday then Christmas comes again, indebtedness continues.

Okay I so can understand Santa because that was based on an actual person that handed out gifts to children, but a bunny doling out eggs that he can’t even produce sounds like a bit of a stretch for me. I would even go out on a limb and say that the Easter bunny was dreamed up by some marketing executive to sell stuff and bravo, that’s what he does. Alright, so we get to this Easter egg hunt and true to form the place is already packed. Parents are psyching up their children while taking off the heavy winter garb, it seems strategy is everything. One Grandmother says “here’s what you do, run out in front and when you reach to that point (mapping out the track) sit down and gather in everything in front of you.” “Everyone will be running and bending down to pick up so that will give you the advantage cause you’re already down” she mused.

Are they kidding me? Bunny hunt strategy, I must be in some twisted egg hunts gone wild dimension or something! What happened to good old fun? Well when the countdown started and the egg hunt launched the parents stormed ahead and blocked children with their bulk. I mean literally dropping down and shielding eggs from kids while their little angels stood back shell shocked, gazing in disbelief at Mom or Dad’s snarling countenance, it was quite the sight. I don’t think I was as bad although I did follow behind my youngest pointing out egg finds, what can I say if you can’t beat them trump them.

When all the eggs were gone, one would think that’s where the madness ended, but no way! There were quite a few mothers roaming the aisles of the mall extolling the virtues of their children on the top of their lungs while lamenting the fact that their children didn’t pick up any eggs and drooling over my children’s gatherings. I in retrospect should offered for my girls to share some of their treats with those children but those mother’s were so rabid that I beat a hasty retreat out of that place because it seemed that soon they were going to riot, loot, pillage and burn for candy in the next instant!! Whew!! Give me my Jamaican bun and cheese and kite flying Easter traditions, far less possibilities of them exploding into maniacal contact sport type episodes.